One of the biggest struggles in my life is to connect with people. I try to talk with others and attempt to find common ground so that a conversation can emerge from that. Some people make it easy because they ask questions in return and I am fully willing to share with others about my life. One of the biggest problems I think people have with me is that I tend to mumble. Words do not come out clearly and this may be the reason people do not talk to me long enough to get to know me that well. Another reason I feel others do not take the time to get to know me is that my interests are very limited. I do not ski or snowboard that often, I am not a die hard sports fan, and most of the things that do interest me are not interesting to the bulk of culture.
I tend to focus on one thing most of the time. I do have other areas that I focus on, but the bulk of my attention is mainly on finding a meaningful relationship. I have been searching this past year not for a potential wife, but for answers. Answers to questions like, "What are the reasons for having a relationship other than the intention of marriage?", or "Will I know without a doubt when I have found her?" Scripture tells us not to worry about tomorrow, but this is something I cannot help but think about. I am 27 years old, and actually further away from finding a wife than I was 10 years ago.
Things worry me all the time, but nothing bothers me more than how badly I feel I love people. Years ago, I would help people at the drop of a hat. I would do favors and help out with anything. I once felt joy when helping others. I think now that my schedule is so full, maybe I just miss time to myself, doing nothing. I pray to God that He would fill me with His love, so I may love others better. I am not the kind of person that is able to fake being in a good mood. When I am on a spiritual high, people know. When I am down, people know. I am glad I am transparent in that way. But, should I not be able to love on others despite how I feel?
I know this post is kind of random, and maybe seems these thoughts are left slightly incomplete. But hey! This blog is called "Thoughts Are Random". Hopefully these short writings of mine will give whoever reads them a better insight into my world. I am such a quiet person, hopefully this will give those who read questions for me or for themselves.
