Do You Know Me?

One of the biggest struggles in my life is to connect with people. I try to talk with others and attempt to find common ground so that a conversation can emerge from that. Some people make it easy because they ask questions in return and I am fully willing to share with others about my life. One of the biggest problems I think people have with me is that I tend to mumble. Words do not come out clearly and this may be the reason people do not talk to me long enough to get to know me that well. Another reason I feel others do not take the time to get to know me is that my interests are very limited. I do not ski or snowboard that often, I am not a die hard sports fan, and most of the things that do interest me are not interesting to the bulk of culture.

I tend to focus on one thing most of the time. I do have other areas that I focus on, but the bulk of my attention is mainly on finding a meaningful relationship. I have been searching this past year not for a potential wife, but for answers. Answers to questions like, "What are the reasons for having a relationship other than the intention of marriage?", or "Will I know without a doubt when I have found her?" Scripture tells us not to worry about tomorrow, but this is something I cannot help but think about. I am 27 years old, and actually further away from finding a wife than I was 10 years ago.

Things worry me all the time, but nothing bothers me more than how badly I feel I love people. Years ago, I would help people at the drop of a hat. I would do favors and help out with anything. I once felt joy when helping others. I think now that my schedule is so full, maybe I just miss time to myself, doing nothing. I pray to God that He would fill me with His love, so I may love others better. I am not the kind of person that is able to fake being in a good mood. When I am on a spiritual high, people know. When I am down, people know. I am glad I am transparent in that way. But, should I not be able to love on others despite how I feel?

I know this post is kind of random, and maybe seems these thoughts are left slightly incomplete. But hey! This blog is called "Thoughts Are Random". Hopefully these short writings of mine will give whoever reads them a better insight into my world. I am such a quiet person, hopefully this will give those who read questions for me or for themselves.

Women Don't Want Jerks

It is often said that women go for guys who are considered jerks. There have been many who have wondered why this seems true (including me). The past several months I have been learning about how God made man and woman, and how 'The Fall' changed us forever.

Let me clarify that I do not, in any way, suggest that any man is better than another. "This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." (Romans 3:22-24). So now let me attempt to describe the two types of men women usually encounter.

Take a look at a man that is void of faith in God and our Lord Jesus Christ. He may have qualities that not all men since 'The Fall' possess such as boldness, courageousness, and honorableness, but void of a trust in a personal savior and our creator. His demeanor suggests that he has it all together and he does not need a woman or anyone to help him survive. This perception of such a man leads you to believe that he has his 'stuff' together and, therefore, would be capable of taking care of you and your future family. There are times when this man may be fully capable of taking care of you and your family, but his heart will most likely lie on satisfying himself and his selfish desires.

Next, take a look at another type of man void of faith in God and our Lord Jesus Christ, the 'nice guy'. The saying has long been that "nice guys finish last". It is simply because they fall short of nearly every quality outlined in Paul's 20 attributes in his maturity profile. I was once a 'nice guy' myself, treating others as though they were special. When all along it was just a selfish gesture to acquire likability for myself. That is the main difference between the 'jerk' and the 'nice guy'. Both go after things/people for selfish reasons, only going about it/them in different ways.

My theory is that women don't want 'jerks' or a 'nice guy', they want a godly man. I have been reading the book 'Measure of a Man' by Gene Getz. Gene discusses the 20 spiritual qualifications from Paul's maturity profile. This profile is pulled from Paul's writings to Timothy (1 Timothy 3:1-7) and Titus (Titus 1:5-10). These attributes involve many qualities that are present in men of faith and in men that are absent of faith.

A mature man of faith will have most of the 20 attributes from Paul's maturity profile, but as the 3rd chapter in Romans explains, "...all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God". However, this does not mean we should give up. No! We should strive to "...become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ" (Ephesians 4:13). But to attain the whole measure of the fullness of Christ, we must rely on Him, His Spirit, and the body of which He is the head. This is actually sort of ironic because the majority of Paul's profile is pertaining to that of interacting with the body. Go figure!

Paul's Maturity Profile

1. Overall spiritual maturity (a well-rounded man)
2. Above reproach (a man of good repute)
3. The husband of one wife (morally pure)
4. Temperate (balanced in words and actions)
5. Prudent (wise and humble)
6. Respectable (good role model)
7. Hospitable (unselfish and generous)
8. Able to teach (communicates sensitively in a non-threatening and non-defensive      manner)
9. Not addicted to wine (not addicted to substances)
10. Not self-willed (not self-centered and controlling)
11. Not quick-tempered (void of anger that becomes sinful)
12. Not pugnacious (not abusive)
13. Gentle (sensitive, loving and kind)
14. Peaceable (non-argumentative and non-divisive)
15. Free from the love of money (non-materialistic)
16. Manages his own household well (a good husband and father)
17. Loving what is good (pursues godly activities)
18. Just (wise, discerning, non-prejudiced and fair)
19. Devout (holy, devoted to God)
20. Self-controlled (disciplined)

This profile is applicable to all Christians, but it's original intent was for those who hope to become leaders.

Firsties

Not sure what this blog will entail, but here it is. If I have some thoughts I would like to write down, share, or just put somewhere for later, then it will go on this blog. I would suggest just subscribing because I will probably not be updating this that often.

Till next time...