Women Don't Want Jerks

It is often said that women go for guys who are considered jerks. There have been many who have wondered why this seems true (including me). The past several months I have been learning about how God made man and woman, and how 'The Fall' changed us forever.

Let me clarify that I do not, in any way, suggest that any man is better than another. "This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." (Romans 3:22-24). So now let me attempt to describe the two types of men women usually encounter.

Take a look at a man that is void of faith in God and our Lord Jesus Christ. He may have qualities that not all men since 'The Fall' possess such as boldness, courageousness, and honorableness, but void of a trust in a personal savior and our creator. His demeanor suggests that he has it all together and he does not need a woman or anyone to help him survive. This perception of such a man leads you to believe that he has his 'stuff' together and, therefore, would be capable of taking care of you and your future family. There are times when this man may be fully capable of taking care of you and your family, but his heart will most likely lie on satisfying himself and his selfish desires.

Next, take a look at another type of man void of faith in God and our Lord Jesus Christ, the 'nice guy'. The saying has long been that "nice guys finish last". It is simply because they fall short of nearly every quality outlined in Paul's 20 attributes in his maturity profile. I was once a 'nice guy' myself, treating others as though they were special. When all along it was just a selfish gesture to acquire likability for myself. That is the main difference between the 'jerk' and the 'nice guy'. Both go after things/people for selfish reasons, only going about it/them in different ways.

My theory is that women don't want 'jerks' or a 'nice guy', they want a godly man. I have been reading the book 'Measure of a Man' by Gene Getz. Gene discusses the 20 spiritual qualifications from Paul's maturity profile. This profile is pulled from Paul's writings to Timothy (1 Timothy 3:1-7) and Titus (Titus 1:5-10). These attributes involve many qualities that are present in men of faith and in men that are absent of faith.

A mature man of faith will have most of the 20 attributes from Paul's maturity profile, but as the 3rd chapter in Romans explains, "...all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God". However, this does not mean we should give up. No! We should strive to "...become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ" (Ephesians 4:13). But to attain the whole measure of the fullness of Christ, we must rely on Him, His Spirit, and the body of which He is the head. This is actually sort of ironic because the majority of Paul's profile is pertaining to that of interacting with the body. Go figure!